PRE-EMPTING LIES AND DECEPTION
The best defense lies against lies and deception is to eliminate your counterpart's temptation to lie. To eliminate their motivations to lie, you need to make salient to them the reasons they should not lie to you.
Defense strategy 1: Look Prepared
Defense strategy 2: Signal Your Ability to Obtain Info
Defense strategy 3: Ask Less Threatening, Indirect Questions
Estimate costs:
Defense strategy 4: Don't Lie
You can help your cause by making your intentions explicit:
LIE DETECTION
Detection Strategy 1: Gather Info from Multiple Sources
Detection Strategy 2: Set a Trap
For the trap to work, the question must concern an issue about which the other side has an incentive to lie.
Detection Strategy 3: Triangulate on the Truth
The more questions you ask, the more difficult it becomes for the other party to come up with consistent answers.
He may not wish to reveal his RV to you, but if he is completely tight-lipped about the most straightforward questions regarding his alternatives- and if he has no reasonable explanation for his secrecy- then you should proceed as if he has been bluffing.
Detection Strategy 4: Look Out for Responses That Do Not Answer the Question
People will often go to great lengths to avoid saying something that is technically untrue, but they will be happy to mislead you indirectly with their response.
Since people are more likely to deceive indirectly than to explicitly lie, negotiation geniuses who listen carefully to the answers provided (and to the answers that are not provided) are in a great position to catch 'nonlying deceivers' in the act.
Detection Strategy 5: Use Contingency Contracts
When the other side makes a dubious claim regarding some future prospect, you do not have to take their word for it, nor do you have to argue about who is right. Instead, ask them to 'put their money where their mouth is' by proposing a contingency contract.
NOW WHAT?
Q1: Was It Really a Lie?
Don't call your counterpart a liar, but explain that you feel you were misled or deceived, then discuss whether the deception was intentional or not. Before labeling your negotiation counterpart dishonest, audit your cultural assumptions.
Q2: Do I Want to Continue with This Negotiation?
Q3: Do I Need to Warn Them or Confront Them?
If you are not particularly upset about the lie, but want to discourage your counterpart from lying in the future, you should use a 「Warn script」. If the lie was more egregious, and you want to extract an apology or concession in exchange for your willingness to continue negotiation you should use a 「Confront script」.
You will notice that both scripts provide an opportunity for the other side to save face. This is critical if you have already decided that you wish to continue the negotiation or the relationship.
It is often tempting- but not always judicious- to retaliate quickly when you feel you have been deceived. Negotiation geniuses take the time to evaluate whether the other side might have been misinformed or had considered their behaviour to be appropriate to the context.
They also keep an eye on their own interests, which may require a response that is powerful enough to fix the problem but controlled enough to allow the other side some room to navigate.
SMART ALTERNATIVES TO LYING
Strategy 1: Incorporate reputation and Relationship Costs in Your Calculus
Most negotiators are myopic; they do not see past the current deal or the current relationship. Those who do adopt a more long-term perspective find it much easier to be truthful and honest- even if this costs money in the short run- because the long-term payoff is worth it.
Strategy 2: Prepare to Answer Difficult Questions
Prepared Response: 'No, this is the only offer that I currently have. But I only recently sent out my resumes, and I have many interviews scheduled.'
Strategy 3: Try Not to Negotiate or Respond to Questions While Under Time Pressure
Strategy 4: Refuse to Answer Certain Questions
Strategy 5: Offer to Answer a Different Question
The idea is to be up front about your inability or unwillingness to respond to the specific question, then to offer a concession by providing other useful info.
You avoid lying, you give them info that is of value to them, you appear reasonable and forthcoming, and you make it more likely that a deal will be consummated.
Strategy 6: Change Reality to Make the Truth More Bearable
When you are tempted to lie or to deceive, take some time to think about why you feel the need to portray a false realty. Is it because you are embarrassed or ashamed of your situation? If so, can you do something to change instead of lying about it?
Strategy 7: Eliminate constraints That Tempt You to Lie
Often, our own honesty (and that of others whom we label unethical) is constrained by rules, policies, time pressure, and incentive systems. It is fine to argue that a 'truly' ethical person would be honest despite these constraints. Nonetheless, it behooves us- and our organizations- to try to create the kinds of environments that encourage rather than discourage truthful and honest behavior.